“This whole world is wild at heart and weird on top.” – David Lynch

I have managed to sell most of the chickens I don’t need.  My quest to produce a Rooster of high enough quality to win awards is still gathering momentum.  In order to reduce some of the costs of feeding these excess animals I have decided to sell them.  I placed an ad on Gumtree, which is a local classified website.

For the first three days, I didn’t hear anything.  I was concerned that I had asked too much money, or maybe that my description was poor.  On the fourth day, as I was thinking about my options, I received a call.

WP_20160424_10_38_50_Pro“Hello, this is Dan” I answer, wandering who would call me after 9pm on a Thursday night.

“I am calling about the chickens”, stated the person on the other side of the line.  I was unsure of the age of the caller, it was either a young girl or an elderly lady.

“Yes,” I answer, “I am selling some chickens. What would you like to know?”

“How many chickens do you have?” she asked.  She had a country Tasmanian accent, I still couldn’t place her age.

“I have almost two dozen chickens…” I started to tell her.  She interrupted me before I could finish my sentence.

“Before you tell me, I have a couple of questions” she advised.  I asked her to go ahead, wandering why she interrupted my answering her question by telling me she had questions to ask, yet I tried to be polite.

“Are they good layers and would you accept $20?” she asked.  I told her that as the ad states, they are too young to lay, yet they should start  in a few weeks (weather permitting).  I then told her that $20 might be OK depending on how many she wanted.  She said she wanted 12.

“12 chickens for $240?  I might be OK with that” I answered.  It was half the amount I was asking per chicken, yet selling 12 at once might be an easy option.

“No, 12 for $20” she said.  I paused…. Was she serious?  The add asked for $40 per chicken.

“I don’t think I could accept $20 for selling 12 chickens” I answered.

“Oh… would you accept $20 for 4?” the caller asked with her voice full of hope.  I would love to have helped her, yet that is asking a lot.

“That would mean accepting $5 per chicken when I am asking $40 per chicken” I advised.  She agreed with my calculations.  I told her I appreciate her call, yet I couldn’t accept that offer and then I bid her goodnight.

 

20 minutes after that call, my phone calls again.  It is almost 9:30pm… yet I answer it anyways.  The caller sounded like a young girl and she launched straight into her questions.

“Hello, how many chickens do you have?” she asked.

“Well, I have around 2 dozen… just over 20.  Are you interested in buying some?” I ask.

“I would like three chickens, but I want to ask, would you accept a trade?” she asked.  I paused before answering.  No one had ever asked me to trade before.

“I have never considered that before, yet I think I would be open to the possibility, depending on what you were offering” I answered, reeling from the unusual situation.

“I have three white chickens, who are a year old that I can trade.  They are great layers.” She offered.  I paused again… she wants to trade three thickens for three chickens?  It sounded weird, yet I thought about it for a moment, before realising that adding a different breed would throw out my breeding program.

“That sounds very interesting” I answer, “Yet I couldn’t accept.  I sell Australorp chickens…”

“Oh, all my chickens are female” she interrupts.  I wander what she thinks Australorp means, or what chicken means… yet I continue.

“I understand.  Yet if I added your white chickens it would wreak my breeding with black chickens” I tell her, attempting to simplify it.

“I really want to get some little black chicks” She pleads.  An idea strikes me.

“Well you might still be in luck.  I am selling black Australorp Roosters, who could easily…” I start to tell her, before she interrupts me again.

“Oh no!  I don’t want any boy chickens… I only want girls” she tells me.  I realise now that this person knows nothing about biology.

“Well, I am sorry I can’t help you.  Good luck finding some” I tell her before signing off.

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5 minutes later, my phone rings for the last time that night.  I answer it and there is a woman’s voice.  It sounded like the first caller.  Before I can even greet the caller I am interrupted.

“Hello, do you know anyone selling red chickens in the area?” the caller asks.  I blink and wander why all these crazy people are calling me.

“Umm… that depends.  What is your area?” I ask.

“Elindale” the caller answers.   I have no idea where that is (I have since found out it is almost 2 hours from me), yet I know it wasn’t close to me.

“Well, I am in the south of Tasmania” I tell her.  She says she knows.  I tell her that I don’t know anyone selling them, yet if I do, I will call her immediately.  She thanks me and hangs up.

At this point, I am sick of strange people calling me.  I listed my number on the ad, yet I was close to removing it.  I went in to tell Kitty about the crazy people calling me, when I checked my phone.  It was then that I realised that they were all from the same number.  The person had changed their voice slightly between the first and second call, and she had asked me how many chickens I had in both calls.

I don’t think I will remove my number when selling ads in the future… these kind of interactions are just part of the deal when selling online.

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